There I found myself on a sunny Saturday morning, too lazy to cook breakfast but starving and sure I would perish into the oblivion of past no-name food bloggers if I didn't find some food soon. My wife and daughter were completely indifferent to this grave scene unfolding before their wandering eyes. Not only did they not want to go out for breakfast, they wouldn't even help me stagger to the car. After much effort, I was able to make it to my vehicle and drive to Legal Limits Pub & Grill. I parked and struggled to keep my balance as I meandered down the sidewalk toward the entrance. I was almost there. I could feel the perspiration building on my forehead and my heartbeat increase slightly at the idea of survival. Eggs would be mine! I crawled through the door on my hands and knees. A few people glanced at me but paid little attention. This must happen a lot there.
I was able to make it a seat at the bar with no assistance and was greeted by the friendly wait staff. They had no idea how glad I was to see them. I was sure that I was going to have eggs, sausage, hash browns and toast. Before I could say anything, they told me the special was Country Fried Steak. It came with hash browns, two eggs and toast. She sounded pretty convincing so I ordered it.
The decor of Legal Limits Pub & Grill is not fancy. Plain tables and chairs, a couple of pool tables, neon beer signs and a television behind the bar. There is really nothing more to add to that. They're fairly busy for breakfast though so I doubt if anyone is there for the stunning elegance of the place.
My order was served and I had to chuckle a little. The food is served on Styrofoam plates. This joint just DOES NOT give a <insert favorite profanity here> what you think of their house China! It didn't matter anyway because the entire plate was covered in food. In my starvation-induced semi-conscience state, I didn't care what the food was setting on as long as that object was setting on the bar in front of me.
There it was! A generous serving of whatever questionable processed meat-like food that was under all that gravy. The eggs were cooked to my liking and the hash browns were steaming. Everything was served hot. It was one huge, greasy heart attack. By that, I mean it was perfect. It was exactly what you would want and expect from the proverbial greasy spoon diner. Just keep an eye out for the little brown flakes at the bottom of your coffee cup. It doesn't ruin the coffee because you only notice them once the coffee is almost gone.
I was stuffed when I left and that meal hit the right spot just when I needed it. Catastrophe narrowly averted! I can't speak for their lunch or dinner but I give the breakfast at Legal Limits Pub & Grill 4 pints (out of 5 possible). Great job but seriously, clean the film out of the coffee pots. You can't just rinse it out. You need a sponge or rag. Maybe some soap. Apply said sponge and soap to the inside of the coffee pot and move your hand in a circular manner. Rinse, repeat as necessary. Problem solved. I will definitely be returning for breakfast.
